Friday, September 14, 2007

...and the story continues

As I said in my last post, this post will be about my experience with the Kimkins diet and my feelings about it. I must say, when I woke up this morning I had a very different idea in my head as to what I was going to say here today than I do now. Anyway....the story continues.

I can't remember the exact date the I joined the Kimkins website but it was within a day or two of May 20, 2007. It was late one evening and I was home alone. I was looking for something on the internet and I followed a link from somewhere and it took me to another site that had a Kimkin's affiliate link. I followed the affiliate link to the Kimkins website. I didn't know it at the time but this was just before all the upheaval and change with the Women's World article being released.

Looking back on it now, it strikes me as odd that I even followed the link. I had been playing around with my diet plan and I had pretty much decided that I was tired of trying to diet. I was weary of the idea of dealing with my weight. In fact, I had just gone out and bought a whole bunch of clothes in a bigger size and decided that I was just going to stay fat. Then I followed that link.

When I started reading the stories on the Kimkins site I began to feel something I hadn't felt for a while. I began to feel hope. If these people could follow this diet and lose weight then maybe I could give it another try too. I had heard of the Kimkins plan a few years earlier on Low Carb Friends but I dismissed it back then as being much too restrictive for me. But, as I continued to read on the website and I kept reading about how this diet would put me in "real" ketosis and supress my appetite to the point that it would be easy for me to follow I just couldn't shake the feeling that maybe this really was what I needed to do. I had been praying for God's help and guidance in my weight issues and I really began to feel that He had lead me to this website on this particular night. I would have joined right then, that night, but I needed to update some things on my paypal account and I didn't want to take the time to do all of it that night so I shut down my computer and went to bed.

The next day when I woke up I still had the feeling that God had led me to the Kimkins site. So, I went downstairs, made my coffee and took it upstairs to our home office and signed up for my "lifetime" membership. I read all the details, decided to start with the basic kimkins plan, went to the grocery store, and planned my start. I made a committment to myself to do the plan for two weeks, no excuses, no cheats. I told myself that at the end of two weeks I would see how I felt about it.

I did not have a negative experience with kimkins as so many others have. I felt good, the weight was coming off at a good rate...I was happy with the plan. I lost 27 pounds in about 6 weeks and I was happy with those results. Then, I started seeing the things that were being said on the other websites about the plan and how it was bad for you. In the beginning I thought that those posters on that "other" site were just a few women with some sort of vendetta against Kimmer. I told myself to ignore them and just continue on with my weightloss journey. But, that thread was like a magnet to me. I kept going back and reading what they were saying...and looking back...I had a "feeling" in the pit of my stomach that something just wasn't right. But, I ignored those feelings and chose to believe (or at least tried to believe) that I was right in my choice to believe in the kimkins plan and...in Kimmer herself.

During the time that I was first becoming aware of the controversy, one of the things that gave Kimmer credibility with me was that she appeared to be taking the higher road with all of the accusations being slung at her. She simply refused to "play their game." I have always been taught that that is how one should deal with gossip...so on the surface, her response looked right to me.

The posters on the "fascination" thread, on the other hand, in their zeal to discredit Kimmer, often came off as gossipy to me. I now know that their underlying motivation was honorable....but often in their postings they were cruel in their words about the kimkins members. I think one has to have been "there" to understand my initial feelings about those postings at LCF. There were snippets taken from the postings we made at kimkins and copied to the "fascination" thread. There were many referances made about us being cult members, desperate, drinking the kool-aide, and other such demeaning things. All of it served only to make me more defient in what I was doing. No one likes being mocked and poked fun at...and sadly, it continues to happen both at LCF and other websites. While I understand the need to get the truth out...I just really wish they would stop poking fun and mocking the KK members...it's counterproductive.

Anyway...where was I?

Then came the day that Becky (littlebit) just wasn't there anymore. Honestly it took me a while to notice because I had my threads I posted to on a regular basis and I stayed with those for the most part unless a post title just caught my eye. I remember that someone posted a question asking, "Is Becky ok?" When I read what was being said I was taken aback. At that point, I still believed Kimmer's explanation. I was actually snippy with someone who was pushing for answers, to my shame. But, the facts kept nagging at me. Why in the world would Becky, who was the heart and soul of the forum, just up and leave with no explanation? It didn't make sense...it didn't add up.

I had read the stories of people who had been banned from the site for things that were said in private messages. Even though I wasn't sure who to believe I began to exchange e-mail addresses with some people....just in case. Shortly after Becky left I got an e-mail from one of my friends on the site, Osuzana, telling me that she was in contact with Becky and what we were being told was a lie.

I have given alot of thought to these things over the past weeks and one thing that I have learned is that when you walk in integrity your integrity is communicated to others...even in postings on a website. From her postings on the site, Becky's personality was clear to me...I knew in my heart that she was a woman of integrity. When she left and we were lied to about it, I knew something was not right. Soon after Becky left, Christin and Deni followed. They too, I knew in my heart, were women of faith and integrity. I knew without a doubt that I had been wrong about Kimmer, about Kimkins, about alot of things.

I posted the following in the Kimkins Cafe forum and began the process of getting myself banned from the site. I knew what I was going to say would cause me to be banned but I felt that because I had been so vocal in my defense of Kimkins...I had to say something publicly. So...here's what I said:

I have been watching all of the controversy unfold for a while now. At first I was very vocal in my defense of Kimkins. I completely believed that the posters on ther fascination thread at LCF were just jealous and spiteful and had some sort of axe to grind with Kimmer. To some extent, I still believe that about many of them, although I now believe that some of them really are concerned over what they believe to be an unsafe plan.

So, I have continued to watch and read and see how all of this has unfolded. I listened to the interview with Jimmy Moore and Kimmer's answers were, in my opinion, rational and reasonable. I heard her say that she would turn teens away from the site in that interview and I was relieved that she was reasonable about it. So, when a 14 year old girl posted that she was eating 500 calories a day and was needing to increase her calories, I was SHOCKED to see kimmer advise her that she didn't need to increase her calories. What happened to turning teens away from the site? This plan might be ok for those of us who are adults but for a child who is still growing there is no way that this diet is appropriate.

Then Becky resigned from the site. Now, no matter what I think about the motivation of the anti-KK gang out there, I know Becky's intentions were good. I also KNOW that we were LIED to about the circumstances of Becky's departure.

Now, Christin and Deni are leaving. I have watched both of these young women stand under the pressure of the anti-KK gang and not crumble. And, they have stood with very little, if any, support from this forum. Those women did not suddenly crumble from the pressure of the attacks on their character. If they were going to crumble they would have done it before now.

Having said all of that, I will say that I have nothing personal against Kimmer or the kimkins plan when it is done in a rational intelligent manner. But, when I see women posting that they are eating 300-500 calories a day and wondering why they are sick, having electrolyte imbalances, and their hair is falling out and they are not told to EAT...for goodness sakes! Then something is wrong. When a child is encouraged to eat 500 calories a day....something is wrong. When Becky left the site and we were lied to about her departure....something is wrong. And when it is infered that Christin and Deni crumbled under pressure.....something is wrong!

I don't claim to have the answers for all of this and I will probably be banned for saying everything I've said in this post.....but I can no longer just go along trying to believe that everything is ok and that there are just a bunch of crazy people who are jealous and disgruntled attacking this plan.

There are some very serious questions and accusations flying around that should be addressed and put to rest if there is no basis for them. But, that hasn't happened....something is very wrong.


I posted a few more posts after that one...but it wasn't long before I was banned from the site. So much for my lifetime membership, huh?

Well, I thought I was going to get much farther than this in this post but this post is already quite long and I still have so much to say.....I guess the story will have to continue in another post.

6 comments:

Becky said...

Vickie - I'm in tears again. You put it all so clearly and beautifully.

You are a woman of loyalty, which is am admirable trait, but you did not let that loyalty overrule your honor and humility, which is even more admirable.

Besides, you've got guts, and I like that!

You're the real deal, Vickie!

VernsWifeVickie said...

Becky...thank you so much for your kind words. Those words, coming from you, mean the world to me.

reesie said...

Vickie,, like you I never thought anything of what the lcf board said, I dismissed most of it, TIL I saw that people were being banned left and right, and then I saw the thread about Becky. That was the icing on the cake for me. I'm so glad there are so many places to go for GOOD support now!! I have your blog bookmarked!! I'll be back often!! *hugs*
love Reesie

s_loveless said...

Vickie --

I missed your departure; I left for about a month. . . until today I had said it was because I didn't need the stress of the controversy, but I think it was more. I knew, listening to the podcasts with Jimmy Moore, that something was terribly, terribly wrong. I continued to defend Kimkins, and Kimmer to some extent, because there are people at that site that I care about.

However, I can't do it anymore. I can't continue to lend support for a WOE that is so vague that it very easily lends itself to abuse. I can't continue to watch as a 14-year-old, who shouldn't have been there, according to the podcasts, posts pictures and interacts with the person who should be sending her money back and sending her home.

Glad to know you're here, and looking forward to hearing more from you! I thought you were a riot at both LCF and KK! :)

Sara

VernsWifeVickie said...

Reesie...thanks so much for reading and commenting on my blog! I am looking forward to getting to know you more at Jimmy's place. By the way, I love your beautiful, strawberry blond hair in your avi picture!

I think kimmer/heidi/whatevertheheckhernameistoday completely underestimated how truly trusted and admired Becky was (and is) to so many of us, and how her departure would affect us!

VernsWifeVickie said...

Sara...I cannot even tell you how happy it makes me to see you here! I always felt a "kinship" to you at KK. Like you, there were so many people there that I grew to really care about, it was hard to know that being banned was inevitable...but I had to say something and hope that at least a few would see it.

Are you at Jimmy's site yet?

Hugs