Sunday, May 31, 2009

Sunday Morning Ministry...

One of the bloggers I follow, graciously spend his time prepare a message each Sunday morning. I always enjoy these messages and am uplifted and encouraged in my walk with the Lord when I read them. While you're there you might want to take a look around the Rigg's Family blog. They are a pretty inspiring family!
Click on the logo above to be taken to this morning's message. God Bless...

Saturday, May 30, 2009

See this?.....

My Saturday morning confession. I have a "thing" for Starbucks Coffee. I love the entire Starbucks experience. It's not just the coffee, it's the experience as a whole. It's the upbeat people behind the counter, it's spending the giftcards that everyone gives me as gifts because they know I love them, it's the coffee condiment table with all the different milks and creams, it's the eclectic patrons who hang out there, it's the ridiculously expensive cups and mugs and other gift items on display...I love Starbucks!

Anyway...I have a thing about my Starbucks cup. It all has to be lined up the right way before I enjoy my steaming cup of deliciousness. The lid on the cup needs to be lined up so that the sipping hole is lined up with the logo on the front of the cup. Now, this isn't only because it looks better this's also because it prevents the sipping hole from being lined up over the seam on the cup...I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!!! When the sipping hole gets lined up over the seam, the coffee can seep out and drip down the front of your favorite white shirt as you sip....that is NOT cool! So anyway...then the sleeve thingy also needs to line up so that the logos on both cup and sleeve line up...just because...well...just because they have to!

I cheated a little bit on this photo because I staged it for an avatar photo on my Facebook page. So I put the lid on backwards so that I could photograph myself drinking from the cup with the logo showing. I turned the lid around the RIGHT way after my little photoshoot!

Happy Saturday!!! I am going to watch the munchkin play soccer. I'll be stopping at Starbucks on my way out....

Friday, May 29, 2009

These are the things on my mind this morning....

Here is how my days have been going...
I start out strong. I walk to work. I eat a healthy wait...I really haven't been eating a healthy breakfast every day. I've been letting time get away from me and skipping breakfast fairly often recently...hmmm that might be one of my problems. Anyway, I have been eating a healthy lunch and sometimes a healthy breakfast. But...then I come home and Vern says something like, "Let's get Mexican food." Or I find a package of chocolate cherries in my wonderful swap package. Or...whatever the excuse...I haven't been careful about what I eat for dinner. This is not going to get the job done. I simply have to get myself back on track with my healthy eating. Yep...I simply have to do it.

I miss my cat. I really do. I especially miss her in the early morning hours when I am first waking up. For the past few years my morning routine has been to wake up to my little Cloe laying herself on my chest and pawing my face ever so gently to wake me. Then she would just glory in being snuggled, scratched and petted. I miss that.

In the book we're using for my women's bible study group the title for this week (actually we do 2 week increments but that's harder to type...LOL) is "Worry is like a Rocking Chair" (it gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere) I've been thinking about worry and meaning to do a word search and find all the passages I can in the bible about worry and anxiety. I haven't done it yet...but I am thinking about it.

I'm thinking about Saturday and how I am going to be everywhere that I want to be at the same time. Vern's brother is coming down and bringing his personal watercraft....not sure what to call them...they're like motorcycles that you ride in the water. Anyway...of course Vern is STOKED! Me...I couldn't care less about it...don't want to go....have no intention of getting on one of those things and actually getting in the filthy water of the San Diego Bay...and yet, I NEED to go and do this with him. Have I mentioned that I have NOTHING suitable to wear for a day on the bay?
And then there's this...Autumn and Chris are back from their vacation. I haven't seen them in two weeks. I normally see Autumn every Saturday. They are gong through a difficult time (divorce) I NEED to spend some time with them.
And then there's this. This Saturday is the first annual Santee Street Fair. I WANT to go to it.
{{Sigh}} Can I just say, I am NOT looking forward to Saturday.

I'm thinking about things at work. We are going to be hiring an assistant for me. One one hand I really need an assisitant...yet I feel like I don't have the time to train someone to help me. Things are changing at work....they are good changes...they are a little bit scary! My boss is going to be slowly stepping away from our shop and taking over his Dad's business....which means I will be stepping into his role at our shop. It's good. It's more money for both of us. It's MORE responsibility for me. It's a big change from the way things have been for the past almost 13 years!

God knows my name. I have been thinking of that over and over and over again over the past couple of weeks. He knows my name. Somehow, all the things that I can find myself thinking about that seem so huge in my mind pale in comparison to that thought....He knows my name. This song plays in my head many many times throughout the day...

Verse 1
He counts the stars one and all
He knows
how much sand is on the shores
He sees every sparrow that falls
He made
the mountains and the seas
He's in control of everything
Of all
creatures great and small

And He knows my name
Every step
that I take
Every move that I make
Every tear that I cry
He knows my
When I'm overwhelmed by the pain
And can't see the light of day
I know I'll be just fine
'Cause He knows my name

Verse 2
don't know what tomorrow will bring
I can't tell you what's in store
don't know a lot of things
I don't have all the answers
To the questions
of life
But I know in whom I have believed


He knew
who I was when He carried my cross
He knew that I would fail Him but He took
the loss


Every step that I take
Every move that I
Every tear that I cry

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My Swap Package Arrived Yesterday...

I arrived home from work yesterday to find this large box on the table! I was so excited but I had to wait until later to open it as I was rushing from work to go pick up my sister for bible study.

I was paired up with my new friend Joann...a wonderful lady that I am so enjoying getting to know better through her blog! I feel very blessed to have become aquainted with Joann through this swap. You should pop over to her blog and get to know her too!

I was blown away by all the wonderful things that were waiting for me to discover in the box when I arrived home! This was truly above and beyond anything I imagined would be in the box.

First there was this darling little set of polka dot cosmetic bags! How cute are they!?

Then, under the polka dot bags was this absolutely charming box, made like a small suit case. The photograph doesn't even come close to capturing the charm of this little box!

This little box/suitcase was packed full of treasures to behold! There were darling pink socks and lotions, soaps and other potions!

There were three different kinds of candy! You will notice that I haven't posted my menu for today, ahem.....let's just say that chocolate cherries are one of my very favorite candies ever and it's lucky for me (and for my hips) that it was a small package! There are also jordan almonds and wonderful salt water taffy which Vern is feeling very lucky to be sharing in!

And then this darling Cookie Lee bracelet! Just look at how adorable it is!

and last, but not least, a Starbucks on earth did you know how much i love Starbucks gift cards!?

Joann...thank you so much for my wonderful box of treasures! I am overwhelmed by your kindness...truly I am.

Life Purpose Statement...

So, as I mentioned yesterday, my bible study group is working through the book, "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow. This most recent chapter was called "A Faulty Focus" and it was really timely for me. It was a perfect and timely reminder for me to "look up."

One of the exercises in the lesson was to write a life purpose statement. A statement of what type of woman I want to be. I wrote mine based on a couple of passages of scripture that have always spoken to my heart.

(Ephesians 3:16-19 NIV)
I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

(Romans 8:28-29 NIV)
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brothers.

(Col 1:10 Amplified)That you may walk (live and conduct yourselves) in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in all things, bearing fruit in every good work and steadily growing and increasing in and by the knowledge of God [with fuller, deeper, and clearer insight, acquaintance, and recognition].

Based on those passages of scripture and what they speak to my heart I wrote the following as my "Life Purpose Statement." Let me assure anyone who is reading this...I am FAR from being the woman in the statement! I have a long way to go in becoming the woman I desire to be. But, I am very sure that Christ, who began a work in me, is faithful and able to bring it to completion!

My Life Purpose Statement:

To Know Him and Make Him Known...

To come to know personally and practically, through experience for myself, the love of Christ. To truly come to know and understand this love that surpasses understanding...not to simply know of it but to really know it, to grasp the depth and breadth of this love and to be filled to the fullest measure with the fullness of God.

And out of that understanding to live a life worthy of Him, fully pleasing to Him and desiring to please Him in all things, bearing fruit in good works and steadily increasing in and by the knowledge of God. And from an understanding of His love for me to want to please Him more than I want to please myself. Out of an understanding of His love for me, to truly believe that He is all that I need.

To grasp that all things work together for good for those who love Him...all things...the good, the bad, the ugly, the mistakes, the sinful choices, the godly choices, the circumstances that feel so overwhelming at truly “get” that all of it is working together and fitting into His plan for my life.

To, from an understanding of His love and a trusting in His sovereignty, lay my life before him and truly be able to say to Him, all that I am, all that I have, all that I do, all that I suffer, all that I desire, now and forever, I give over to You Lord. I surrender all of it to you and say “have your way in me and be glorified in me. Cause me to become conformed to your image more and more each day. Teach me obedience in the things that I suffer and cause me to find my contentment and satisfaction only in You Lord.”

And out of that surrender to Him to have my life impact the lives of others. That I would be so full of Him that He would spill out on to those around me. That He would use my life to encourage and share His love with others.

That at the end of my days, people would look at my life and be able to say, “She was a woman who walked with Jesus.”

Monday, May 25, 2009

A Faulty Focus....

That's the name of the chapter for this week's bible study....A Faulty Focus....what an appropriate theme for me for this week! As I read the chapter and worked through the questions in the study guide, I realized why I've been feeling so out of sorts lately. My focus has been on the wrong things....

Colossians 3:1-2 Since, then, you have been raised with
Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right
hand of God. Set your hearts on things above, not on earthly things.

Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of
our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame,
and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

So this morning I woke up and realized it was time for me to re-focus. Yes, there are some issues between Vern and I that seem insurmountable at times. Yes, I am so sad over the loss of my sweet little Cloe. Those things are real and of course I am going to think about them. But I can choose where my focus will be. I can choose to dwell on those things or I can choose to look up. This morning I chose to look up.

One thing I kept telling myself was that I was not going to do my weigh in this morning. I've had a hard week. I could cut myself some slack...blah, blah, blah. I put one foot in front of the other (after putting on cute socks) and I MADE MYSELF step on the scale! To my amazement I lost .2 pound. I just KNEW I was facing a huge gain! .2 isn't much but it's not a gain! I was relieved to get that out of the way and the pressure of it off of my mind.

I also decided that I could sit around the house and be sad all morning or I could get out and walk. I put my walking shoes on, clipped my pedometer to my waistband, tuned my i-pod to pump worship music to my brain and headed out. I walked about a mile and a half with my favorite praise and worship tunes being pumped to my brain. I used the time to reflect on Jesus and all that He has seen me through and how He has never let me down.....I walked and listened and cried as the weight of the burden of my emotions began to lift from my soul. (thank goodness for big, dark sunglasses)

I stopped at Starbucks when I was almost at home and I had a big cup of coffee while I sat outside in this pretty setting. I felt as though the weight of the world was beginning to lift from my shoulders.

Then I came home and began my on plan day. I might not be able to control all of the circumstances that get thrown my way but I can control where my focus is and how I respond and what I choose to put in my mouth!

I still am not 100%. There is a lingering sadness over Cloe, and this thing between Vern and I...but I am better than I was.....and I am looking up

Sunday, May 24, 2009

This is the post I was planning yesterday...

.....when I got up yesterday morning this post was dancing around in my head. I had no idea of the long, tear filled day that lay ahead for I was excited in anticipation of posting this...(even though I was, and continue to be very much at odds with Vern but that's a different post that I may or may not go in to at some point)

Yesterday was the day to mail out our packages for the Favorite Things swap. I was paired up with a sweet lady named Joann whom I have found I have quite a few things in common with! So I wrapped the things I picked for her in the paper I had saved from my birthday and packed them all in the box.....Praying it would all fit because I had already taped the shipping label on the box. It all fit perfectly!! I dashed up to the post office in Santee and dropped it in the mail. I hope you like the things I picked for you Joann!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

This has been a really tough day...

My beautiful, sweet little cat, Cloe, has been having some health issues. I took her to the vet last week. We decided on a course of treatment. We thought she was going to be okay. This morning I came home from the post office to find her laying on the kitchen floor with her head in her water bowl. She was lethargic and pretty much unresponsive.

I called the vet and explained what had happened and he gently told me it was "time." Time to bring her in and have her put down.

Vern and I held her and told her goodbye. She was ready...I could feel it. The drive to the vet was an eternity. We held her while he examined her and assured us this was the time. We held her while she slipped away. We wrapped her in a towel and carried her like a baby back to the car and we drove to my parents' house. I had to drive because Vern couldn't. Vern held Cloe while I drove and she looked so peaceful...I wanted to hold her.

My Sister, Joyce, had dug her a grave in the shade under the pepper tree in the back yard. I love my sister so much for knowing that I needed for Cloe to have a nice place to be buried....and for having it ready when we got there.

Vern and I cried and cried...and said our goodbyes again...

Cloe has been laid to rest in a good place....a family place.
My heart feels like it's breaking....

Today has been a really hard day...

Oh's Saturday morning....

I hesitated whether to blog about my mood this morning or not. I usually blog about my food choices and my faith and my beautiful granddaughter.....this morning I am crabby and annoyed and feeling rather hopeless about some "stuff' between my Knight in Somewhat Rusty Armor and me. {{{sigh}}}

I slept on the couch....well, I can't really say I slept, so let's just say I pouted on the back is killing me....we are having my mother in law over for the day. That's always big fun....(NOT).

and now, at 6:28am on the first morning of the three day weekend I am going to go and vacuum....just because I am feeling very pissy that way...and the Knight is sleeping....but not for long...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Trading Places....

2 Corinthians 5:21
God made him who had no sin to be
sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Last night was our small group, home fellowship....that's the official title...actually, it's Vern and I getting together with another couple from our church and discussing things over coffee. The above verse was what we settled on and talked about. It's so amazing if you really think about it. God made Him (Jesus) who knew no sin, to be sin for us....and it gets even better than that!!! He also caused me, when I trusted in His plan of salvation, to be the righteousness of God in Him!! It's like we traded places! It's as though Jesus said, "Here, you come here and take my place of righteousness and I'll take your place on the cross." Wow!

So, needless to say, I am in a much better mood this morning. I took some Tylenol PM last night and slept pretty well. I am a bit groggy this morning from the effects of the sleep aid...but I slept.....sleep is good!

Here's what I ate yesterday. I keep forgetting to take photos of my food. I will get back in the proper swing of this photo journaling soon!'s what I have...

Work is CRAZY and I had trouble finding time for a break so this was sort of breakfast and lunch combined. A carb Check bagel with Smart Balance Light buttery Spread and cinnamin, a sliced apple with PB2 for dipping it in, and a large iced coffee with almond breeze. 6 points

I was hungry later in the day and I grabbed some baked kettle chips and a Fiber One bar. 4 points.

I din't get photos of any of the rest of my food but for dinner I had 2 Hebrew National 97% fat free hot dogs, a cup of Turkey chili, 2 LaTortilla Factory Smart and Delicious tortillas and 2 slices of fat free cheese. I wrapped the hot dogs, cheese and chili in the tortillas...sort of chili dog burritos. 8 points

My other snack was a bowl of puffed millet, puffed kamut and wheat bran with almond breeze. 4 points.

Total points for the day: 22

Now...on to much cuter things! Autumn and her Daddy left for vacation yesterday. They are in Texas visiting Autumn's Daddy's cousin Jason and his family. It was a big day for Autumn and her friend Brownowhiteo! It was the first airplane trip for both of them!

Here are some cute shots taken at the airport. Yes, Autumn had pizza for breakfast after getting through security. Brownowhiteo enjoyed a nice ride through the X-ray machine.

Autumn was playing dress-up with her cousin Jocie and told her Daddy, "Look at me! Take a picture for Grandma Honey!" Oh my goodness...I love this child so much!!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2009 it is...

I wanted to get back on track with my blogging and have wonderful, insightful, witty, interesting things to say. But this morning I find myself tired and out of sorts, with very little to say. I have been having difficulty sleeping. Between my back hurting, my husband snoring, the cats thinking I am a trampoline, and the touch of insomnia that comes with being middle aged...I simply can't seem to get a good night of sleep. For whatever reason, this morning it has gotten under my skin and I am in dire need of an attitude adjustment! (and a cup of strong feet will most definitely step through the doors of our neighborhood Starbucks this morning)

So...for today...all I have is my menu from yesterday....

Breakfast was pumpkin oatmeal made with 1/2 cup of canned pumpkin, 1/4 cup of scottish oatmeal, 1/2 cup fiber one cereal, and 1/4 cup of unprocessed wheat bran, cooked together with 1 cup of water and spiced with cinnamin and sweetened with stevia. This is a huge bowl of goodness for 2 points!

Lunch was a Boca burger patty on a Carb Check bagel with low fat mayo, fat free cheese, and lettuce, paired with baked kettle chips. I also had a sliced apple with Fage yogurt sweetened and spiced with cinnamin to dip the apple in. 8.5 points

Dinner was baked chili "fries." I sliced a large potato into "fries" and gave them a spray of cannola oil cooking spray and baked them until they were golden brown. I topped them with fat free cheese, 1 cup of Hormel 98% fat free turkey chili without beans, and 2 sliced Hebrew National 97% fat free hot dogs. I sprinkled the top with diced onions. Oh my goodness...this is junk food and it's actually pretty healthy! 9.5 points

My snacks consisted of a Fiber One Oats & Chocolate bar and a bowl of Fage yogurt with an orange sliced up in it. My snacks totaled 5 points.

Ok...that's it for this morning. I am off to get ready for work and exchange my pissy mood for a better one!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Look what the Lord has done!!!...

That seemed to be the theme for my visit yesterday with my dear, dear friend, Grazi. We met for lunch. We do not get together often enough. Lunch lasted until 9pm. We had a lot of catching up to do. Our conversation centered around all that the Lord has done in the past few years in both of our lives. It was a wonderful day and this morning I am still basking in the afterglow of time spent with my friend. I'm sure I'll post one day about our friendship and how it came to be and how I know with all of my heart that ours is a God ordained friendship that came into my life as a lifeline during a really dark, difficult time. But today, I am just going to enjoy the warm feelings that our visit has brought to my heart. Grazi, if you're reading this...I love you my friend. {{{hug}}}

So, as I said, we met for lunch. We went to Daphne's Greek Cafe and I had the grilled chicken kabob lunch for 9 points. (I love when the nutritional information is available on the website!)

Later, back at Grazi's darling little apartment we had a bowl of steamed vegetables topped with turkey chili, and a cracker witih cilantro hummus...oh yum! That hummus was heavenly! Anyway, I guesstimated the points for this at 6 points.

When I got home I had a bowl of cereal with almond breeze and a bowl of yogurt.

I think my guess at the soup dinner points was pretty accurate and my points for the day ended up at 22.

Sorry for the lack of photos. We were talking and talking and talking and I forgot to take any photos!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Accountability is a good thing...right? you can tell by my failure to blog this past week, I haven't been counting points or staying on tack with my eating or exercising like I need to. In short, I've just been avoiding doing what I know to be right for me.....

and it showed up quite clearly on the scale this morning....

I am up 2.4 pounds. (Boy was that hard to come here and admit!)'s a new day and time for me to get back on track with my healthy living plan (I am NOT on a diet)

This morning I am going to go out and stock up on all the vegetables and fruits that I am currently out of in my kitchen. Today I am renewing my committment to journal my food choices...the good, the bad, and the ugly. I am putting new batteries in my camera and putting one foot in front of the other and walking into this new day with fresh determination.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Tuesday...trying to get back to my regular routine of posting daily..

It's amazing to me how quickly time gets out of control and I find that it's been a couple, or several, days since I have posted. I did manage to slide through and post a weigh in picture yeterday....but beyond that I haven't had much to say here. So in the interest of keeping up and posting regularly, here's my menu for yesterday. I can hardley believe that all of the food that I am about to show you...and that I ate yesterday...only totaled 18 points.

Seeing all this food, and plugging it into the on-line points tracker and finding it to be 18 points, makes me think about an experience I had at a restaurant this weekend. We all decided to go to lunch after a rousing morning of Peewee soccer. We went to Applebee's. I was thrilled when everyone chose Applebee's because they have some menu selections with Weight Watcher points already figured for you. So I reviewed the menu selections and chose this...

Italian Chicken Portobello Sandwich

Grilled, marinated chicken breast topped with sliced portobello mushrooms, a slice of tomato and chunky marinara sauce. Served on a wheat bun along with fresh fruit.

It sounds pretty good, doesn't it? I said to the waiter, "I'll have the Italian Chicken Portobello Sandwich, please."

A few minutes later a waitress runs past the table and slows down enough to throw a dismal looking sandwich on the table while yelling at the top of her lungs, "Who's having the Weight Watchers sandwich?" Can I just stop right here and tell you how much I HATE that!? The sandwich has a's on the menu. The proper way to deliver the meal is to say, "Who's having the Italian chicken Portobello Mushroom sandwich."...OK!!!??? that's the way it should be done. There is no good reason to announce, loudley and crudely, at the top of your lungs, to EVERYONE in the entire establishment..."I have the sandwich for the fat lady on a diet here!!!" Sheesh!!!

Anyway...I was so flustered and a bit miffed and embarrassed by the delivery...and so disappointed in the pitiful thing on the plate that I failed to take a photo of I am sooo wishing that I had photographed it. It was the most pitiful, unappealing thing I have seen in a long while. Honestly, you would have to make a special effort to make a sandwich look so "blah" and unappetizing. It actually didn't taste bad....although it could have been a lot better. The "fresh fruit" offering consisted of a tiny ( I do mean TINY) wedge of sour, not quite ripe pineapple, a couple of tiny little chunks of green apple, and a nasty looking little strawberry. (which Autumn immediately asked for..and was given...LOL)

I told Vern on the way home, I am done ordering food from the "healthy options" on any of the menus at any of the restaurants we go to. For some reason the cook staff seems to equate ordering the "healthy' options...or fresh grill..or heart healthy...or Weight Watcher friendly...or whatever the term is at the particular establishment you're ordering at...with a need to be punished for even considering eating. I think they see that you've ordered from the "special selections" and decide that you need to be discouraged from ever eating again...LOL. So, I am done. From now on I am going to order whatever...and then just split portions or pick and choose what I'm going to eat from my selection...but no more trying to order from the "special" selections...Yuck!!!!'s what I ate yesterday....

There was also a bowl of yogurt with fiber one and puffed millet in it as a late night snack, which I didn't photograph.

All of this lovely food came to 18 points for the day. I see no reason why a professional chef in a restaurant kitchen can't make a 7 point sandwich that's worth eating!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Monday..weighing in

It's Monday...

Down 1.8 pounds this week!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Here's hoping that today is a "normal" day....

So...I am really craving a "normal" day. You know, normal routine, normal activities, a mind that can concentrate on work for more than a few minutes at a time. I am hoping that today will be a day like that. My mom is home from the hospital and resting in her own bed. My dad seems pretty stable right now. Maybe today can begin a return to normal for a while...I sure hope so.

I am missing my morning walk to work. I love walking and listening to bible teaching or praise songs as I walk. It's just such a great way to begin the day. Right now though, I don't want to be without my car at work. I want to be able to run out to my car and be at my parents house in a matter of minutes if need for today and tomorrow I will drive myself to work and pray that next week can be a return to all of my normal routine.

Lately, especially as life has been so crazy, I have been taking great comfort in this passage of scripture...

Psalm 139:1-18
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.

5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,"

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!

18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

I am especially comforted by verse 16...that all of the days of my life, and the lives of those I love, were written in God's book before one of them came to pass. Before I was ever born God knew what my days would be and He has not left me to go through them alone. He is always with me, guiding my steps, comforting my heart, having nothing but good intentions and thoughts toward me.

As I think about all of this I am reminded of the "dream" I had not long ago. I posted this HERE on April 9th

I woke up at some point in the pre-dawn hours with this thought. It's hard to put into words because it was more of a mental image thought type of thing...but anyway. I saw myself picturing God waving His hand and sort of scattering the stars into the heavens, kind of like one would scatter grass seed. But then I felt myself realizing that this wasn't an accurate picture. Then I imagined God carefully placing each star in exactly the right place in the heavens and giving each one a name. It was one of those amazing moments when it felt like God was speaking to my heart. I'll be meditating on that one for a while. It was just such a cool moment that I wanted to share it.

Psalm 8:3-4
When I consider your heavens,
the work of your fingers,
the moon and the stars,
which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,
the son of man that you care for him?

Psalm 147:3-5
He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

He determines the number of the stars
and calls them each by name.

Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

I've been thinking about this "dream" a lot lately as well as thinking about the fact that my days are already written in His book...and I am comforted by the knowledge that none of this is random, none of it is coincidence or chance or the luck of the draw. God has an ordained plan for my life (and for the lives of those whom I love) and he is carefully placing everything exactly where it needs to be, at exactly the time it needs to be there....every circumstance, every crisis, every all comes through His hand and into my life. And it's all for my good and for His glory. What an awsesome God! As the psalmist says...."such knowledge is too wonderful for me!"

I am encouraged and comforted today in the knowledge that I am going to go and live a day that has been ordained by God. There's no reason to worry. He placed the stars in the sky and He calls them by name...and He knows my name as well. It's going to be better than a normal's going to be a day ordained by God!

As for my menu...I ate on plan yesterday. I didn't take photos of all of my food. I ate yogurt, an orange and Fiber One cereal for breakfast. I had a wrap, some snap peas ond an apple for lunch. Dinner was a yummy concoction of chicken, vegetables, shirataki noodles and fat free sour cream and cream cheese. I DID take a photo of this!

I ended that day with yogurt and banana. I stayed within my points range.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

What a relief!

My mom was discharged this morning. She's still pretty sick but the crisis is over and now she just needs to recuperate and rest. Thanks so much to everyone who prayed and left comments. Your prayers, support and caring words mean so much to me.

I am frantically trying to catch up at work after being off yesterday but plan to return to my normal blogging routine in the next 24 hours or so!

Now I'm just going to say this in order to get it off my chest....I wish that young doctors would realize that scolding and lecturing people who are more than twice their age, for decisions and addictions that have been going on for over 50 years, only serves to cause those elderly patients to avoid seeking medical treatment when they really need it. {{{sigh}}}

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Today was a long, hard day...

Today was a long, hard day. I spent it in the emergency room again. This time with my mom. They admitted her. She has emphysema/COPD and is battling bronchitis. She's pretty sick and frightened. I think she's really much improved since this morning when I took her in. She was BAD this was scary. I was strong and reassuring and in control all day...I needed to be strong for her. I stayed with her from about 7am until 8pm when she was calm and settled in for the night. Now I'm going to have a good cry for no particular reason...other than it's so hard to watch my mom when she's sick and frightened and fighting for every now I need to cry. And then I'm going to bed.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Random Stuff from the Weekend....(and my weigh in)...

I've said from the beginning that I am NOT on a diet. I am using the Weight Watcher's Point System to help me to learn to eat real food, in the real world, in a healthy manner. So, I decided to make this past weekend a pointless weekend. The reality of my world is that I am going to go and eat our favorite Chicago Style Pizza with my hubby....

When Vern got home from working Saturday morning and I was home from PeWee soccer, we went to our favorite pizza joint for lunch...

I am ashamed to admit that not so very long ago, when I was "dieting," I would easily consume 3 or 4 slices of this pizza. There was a "deprivation mindset" that I had. I was "going off of my diet" so I'd better REALLY make the most of it and eat all of the pizza I could stuff in my face. Let me tell you....3-4 pieces from THIS pizza is A LOT of food! Now when we go, I can eat 2 slices and be satisfied...and I can "feel" myself getting to the place where one is going to be enough for me.

After lunch we went for a walk along the waterfront, through Embaradero Park. I love living in San Diego!

Although it was a pointless weekend I ate my healthy meals for the most part. My goal is to one day just be able to live and eat like a normal person without having to count points and measure portions. So, I wanted to allow myself to go to the pizza joint for lunch and then resume my healthy eating habits even though I wasn't counting points. Here are a couple of random meals that I had during the weekend.

Breakfast Saturday morning was cold cereal...puffed kamut, Fiber One, a sliced banana, a few blueberries, and Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla "milk"

Lunch after church yesterday was "Naked Nuggets" and baked "fries." I loved these chicken nuggets that I found at Costco. Thy are similar to the chicken nuggets at fast food places but there's no breading on them. 7 nuggets have 140 calories, 3 gms fat, 1 gm of fiber for 3 points...not that I was counting, mind you!

Of course I ate other meals and snacks throughout the weekend but I didn't keep track or take photos. For someone who has spent a lifetime on a "diet" it was really scary for me to face the scale this morning. I almost talked myself out of it but then I realized that in the "real world" you are accountable for the choices you make...and there would be no way for me to know if I can do pointless weekends successfully if I don't face the scale each week. So I mentally prepared myslef for whatever the scale was going to have to say to me this morning. It almost amuses me...the fact that I am frightened of the scale. Anyway, I steeled myself for whatever it was going to say and imagine my delight and surprise when it said this.....

A loss of 2.4 pounds this week! Nice!!

You might notice that I cropped this photo more than usual. That's the thing about having a glass scale....there was a reflection...a reflection of things that don't belong on a family friendly blog! Whew!! I am glad I noticed THAT before I just stuck it on here!!!