Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Anonymous speaks

This comment was left this morning by "Anonymous" I have much to say in response and none of it is "vindictive," "nasty," "mean" or "negative." However, I am at work so it will have to wait until tonight when I get home. In the meantime here is the comment that was left this morning.

Anonymous said...
Hi Vickie,
There is a reason why I posted that anonymously.

I could have and probably should have just said nothing, or merely posted Read Mathew 6:14-15

6:14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

However I truly liked the longer version with the verbatim explanation better. I use that site often as a reference point because it puts biblical reference into terms even a child could understand.

I too have been in your shoes, I recognized the struggle!

I have passionately discussed this matter with my pastor, & my prayer group. I had to let it go as it was eating me up inside. I did not like what I was becoming, which was turning into a bitter person consumed with these issues that where carrying over into everyday life!

I was quite pleased that you understood exactly the message I was attempting to anonymously relay to you & actually relieved with your beautiful response because I was so nervous posting to you since you were my first post ever anywhere on this subject, I just really wanted to reach out to you & let you know that you are not alone.

I had much more that I wanted to say today, until I saw your cohorts started up with the usual attack mode & mud slinging over @ LCF, & then now you have posted shaming me about plagiarism. That was never my intent, It wasn't ever about where I got the the wording from, I never even thought twice about it & for that I apologize. It was about relaying the message I was attempting to get across as simply as possible.

I do regret having posted now as I am not a confrontational person & that is why I choose to remain anonymous. Not using anonymity could be quite dangerous in duck territory, & not everyone wishes to have their identity plastered all over the net thus putting their reputations, family, job, & church at risk. Not everyone that post anonymously is FOE. However anyone that post anything is open for attack regardless if they are anonymous or not.

Maybe that reason alone is why so many others remain silent.

Even many of the personal snide remarks about Heidi that are just mean, pointless & anti-productive, for example the sugar cookies, & captain morgan. Those cookies could have been her sons cookies, just because they were on the seat of the vehicle doesn't make her guilty even though I think we could all safely presume that they were, & just because someone mentions they like or have drank rum doesn't make them an alcoholic. To paint even someone we don't like as blithering drunken idiot munching on sugar cookies is unjustified, & unfounded.

That is only one example of many out there that I have found distasteful, & why I have not joined this crusade as I do not care to surround myself with this sort of vindictiveness. I am only human, & I fear that the vicious nature of all this would consume me again, & do not want to become that type of person, so I must choose to leave judgments up to the court of law here on earth, & up to the higher court of God above, & I truly trust with all my faith that justice will be served without any nastiness input on my behalf.

I won't bother you or anyone again, call it a lesson learned, & again I apologize. No need to reply as I will not be back again to look for any more negativity. I think this was a sign for me to finally close this chapter in my life & move on. I have officially turned my burdens over to the one that is much more capable of handling them than I. So something good did come out of this, even if it only worked for my own peace of mind.

You take care Ms. Vickie, I know you will find the resolve & peace that you seek, it's there. Some things just take time, & you have to work thru them yourself & with your faith.

You will be in my prayers, as will everyone else!

Have A Blessed Day!

April 30, 2008 10:55 AM

Shame on you Anonymous!

It's been pointed out to me by a couple of very intelligent, computer savvy ducks that the earlier comment from Anonymous was lifted, copied and pasted actually, from another website. The original can be found HERE

It all makes sense now why "anonymous" would choose to post that anonymously. All I have to say about that is SHAME ON YOU ANONYMOUS! You are a hypocrite. I'm sure if you go back to that bible study site you plagerized your comment from you will be able to find also what the bible has to say about hypocracy, lying, and stealing.

So, in the famous words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."


I received the following comment to my blog post yesterday. I wanted to address it here rather than in the comments section of my blog:

Anonymous said...
Matthew 6:14-15

Jesus compares our sins to debts. We have violated our obligation of being obedient to God, and this exposes us to the penalty that results from that violation. To teach us the lesson of forgiveness, God bases how He forgives us by the forgiveness we extend to others!

Those who come before Him unwilling to forgive others cannot expect God to show them the love and mercy they desire. God will not show them the mercy and love they will not extend to others! If we forgive others when they injure us, our Father will forgive us.

How are we to conduct ourselves in forgiving others? We must forgive, even if the offender does not ask to be forgiven. We should treat the one who has injured or offended us with kindness, not harboring any grudge or speaking of that individual condemningly. We should always be ready to do him good if the opportunity arises. This is a tall order!

Why act this way when it goes so strongly against human nature? First, it produces peace. Second, it sets the example for the offending individual—and for everyone else—of what God considers right and proper.

Does forgiveness of a person fighting a recurring problem mean that we should place complete trust in him in the area of his problem? With many problems—poor money handling, gossip, lying, stealing, and sexual sins, to name a few—we need to see a track record of overcoming before considering him trustworthy, but we can still be understanding, forgiving, and encouraging.

April 29, 2008 11:05 PM

First, thank you anonymous for reading and commenting on my blog. I do dislike anonymous comments but I understand that there are some who feel more comfortable remaining anonymous. The thing with remaining anonymous is that you can throw your opinion out there and not be fully accountable or responsible for the things you say. I can see the attraction in that but, like I said, I don't like anonymous comments. So, that being said, allow me to address your comment.

I agree completely with what you said and for that matter, what the bible has to say, about forgiveness. You are absolutely right that if we refuse to forgive others we ourselves will not be forgiven.

I must admit I don't clearly understand your reason for pointing this out to me. I can only assume that you think I haven't forgiven Heidi Diaz. You couldn't be more wrong. I have forgiven her. I have and continue to pray that God would use this entire experience to draw her to Himself. I blogged about the need to forgive her early on in my blog. You can find that post HERE

Forgiving Heid Diaz does not mean, however, that I think she should be allowed to continue her dangerous, fradulent, illegal actions. I will continue to pray for her, hope that she will come to know the Lord, AND do everything I can do to help to put her out of business.

As for my words being harsh at are right...I have days when my words are harsh. It's one of the areas in my life that I struggle with. Thank you for the reminder that I need to watch the tone of my words.

One of the things that comes with posting openly, with an identity, is that you can be called out and held accountable for the things you say...I accept that.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

I've been thinking...

Back in May of 2007, when I paid my $44.95 to purchase a "lifetime" membership at Kimkins, I never dreamed that it would mark the beginning of a year in which I would be forced to realize that my relationship to food and dieting has been so completely unhealthy.

My "lifetime" membership at Kimkins lasted until the beginning of September. Four months....lifetime....Hmmmm. My story of my Kimkins experience is here in earlier posts so I won't go through it all again.I only bring that up to say that my four month, "lifetime" membership at Kimkins is changing my life....just not in the way I thought it would.

Knowing what I know now, would I join Kimkins again? Of course not! The Kimkins diet plan is a dangerous plan that leads to health problems and eating disorders for those who don't already have them and exacerbates disordered eating patterns in those who do already have them. I will celebrate the day that her site is taken off the web and she goes to jail for her actions. But, I am one who believes that God causes all things to work together for my good. (Romans 8:28) I believe that He is using my experience at Kimkins to teach me some things, and in the end He will cause me to be better and stronger for the experience.

One thing that falling for the Kimkins diet scam has caused me to do is to stop and think about dieting and emotional eating and, yes, even idolatry, and the role these things play in my life. I've had to face some very unpleasant truths about myself.

Before I go any further, I need to say, I am not writing this blog post to preach at anyone, or to try and sway anyone to my way of thinking. I am simply journaling my journey and how it plays out in my life. I am a born again Christian and that fact is simply a part, or at least it should be a part, of everything in my life. Unfotunately, until recently, my Christianity hasn't affected my relationship to food and dieting. That is changing. Change isn't easy...and it's often not very pretty either!

As with most things, there was a moment of revealation that caused me to stop in my tracks and see that my focus has been wrong. That moment came for me when the deposition photos of Heidi Diaz/Kimmer were released.

When I saw the above photo of Heidi with that smug look on her face and realized once and for all that this was the woman I had been taking advice from, well, it just made me sick to my stomach. I had no choice but to realize I had a pretty desperate relationship with food and dieting. To this day, every time I look at that photo, it not only makes me sick, but the following passage of scripture comes to my mind:

Isaiah 55:2,3a

Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me;hear me, that your soul may live.

It's difficult for me to put into words what my heart feels when I see that photo and think of that passage of scripture. It's like the Lord is saying to me, "why have you been turning to this diet plan or that diet plan, this diet guru or that diet guru, to heal your broken relationship with food? Don't you know that I am the Lord who loves you and heals you and will make you whole? The answer is not in yet another plan or book. Come to me, let me heal your brokeness. Look who you have chosen to trust and realize that the answer to your brokeness is not in anything that the world might offer you. Come to Me and allow Me to satisfy your soul and fill that empty place that you have been trying to fill with food for your entire life."

There is no way I can put into one post the things that have been strring in my heart and mind over the past few months so this is the first of several posts about this journey I am embarking on.

I have to say that while the moment of truth finally sinking in came when I looked at the deposition photos, that moment would not have happened if I hadn't been reading the posts of a group of "ducks" at It was the information provided on the "Fascination" threads there that primed my heart and mind to see the truth. Thank you ducks!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Well, I'm 50 now...

On Thursday April 24, 2008 I turned 50. I actually think it's pretty cool being 50. I just don't know how it happened so fast! I got my AARP packet in the mail a couple of weeks ago....that was a surreal experience.

So anyway....being feels like one of those times in life when you pass through a doorway. It's a one way door. There's no going back, only forward. It's exciting and scary at the same time. That's how this feels. I don't know exactly what the next leg of this journey will hold for me. The last 50 years have been quite a ride! If that's any indication of what the next few years are going to be like I think I'll fasten my seatbelt and hold on! Or maybe just hold my arms up in the air and scream....instructions from Lil Miss Autumn on the proper way to ride a rollercoaster...."You just hold your arms up in the air and scream when it's a little bit scary Grandma"

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Goodbye Misha

There's a reason that I haven't been updating my blog recently. My cat was sick. There was a week of caring for her, hoping she was going to get better. And a weekend of realizing that she wasn't and that I was going to have to take her in and put an end to her suffering. So on Monday, April 14, 2008, at 8:15am my beloved Misha was euthanized. It was one of the most difficult decisions I have ever had to make and that final trip to the vet's office was most decidedly the most difficult task I have ever undertaken. I was with her when she died. I am comforted by the fact that it was quick, peaceful and painless. My heart is broken over the loss. I am sobbing as I type this. I know that one day soon I will have cried enough tears and the grieving will give way to the warm memories. But right now the pain is intense.

So, goodbye are missed.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Harsh Words...

Yesterday I said something harsh in commenting on AmyB's blog. I responded to a commentor who called herself "simpleannie" in words that were not very kind. I flippantly typed "simpleannie….step away from the koolaid, slowly step away….." It was wrong of me to respond in such a patronizing, derogotory tone and I sincerely apologize to simpleannie, to AmyB, and to anyone else who read my comment.

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about how wrong and how counterproductive it is for me to respond to anyone in that manner. Am I the only one who wakes up in the night thinking about this stuff? I doubt it.

So anyway....I woke up thinking about my harsh words and remembering what made me decide to leave Kimkins. When I made the decision to leave Kimkins it wasn't because of comments about "drinking the koolaid," being a cult member, being to stupid to see the truth or any of the many such things I saw being said about Kimkins members. Those types of statements only served to make me want to dig my heels in deeper. Those types of statements, in my mind, gave less credibility to those who were making them. What that finally opened my eyes to the truth about Kimkins, Kimmer/Heidi Diaz were the words of someone who was nice, who didn't gossip, didn't say derogotory things about others, and who seemed to always find something encouraging or positive to everyone. Much like AmyB this person was always nice to everyone. This person was Becky, aka Littlebit. When Becky left the site and we were lied to about it I began exchanging e-mails with her. The truth was revealed to me in those e-mails.

My point in sharing that story is first of all AmyB, keep doing what you're doing. There are people whom your words will reach who will choose to see the truth. Secondly, for anyone who is reading AmyB's blog and wondering why she is speaking against Heidi and Singinglass, or speaking out in a way that's not the norm for her, please consider the source. Rather than chastize her for speaking out in a way that you aren't familiar with, consider that she is stepping out of her comfort zone to speak out in order to right a wrong. I've seen more than one instance of people questioning AmyB, asking something to the effect of "Amy, you were always so nice, why are you speaking out against Heidi or Singinglass this way" (my paraphrase) Please stop and think. If AmyB's words are not the nice words you are used to hearing from her, it's not because she is no longer a nice person. It's because she is a nice person and she's seen the truth and the truth is important to her.

Like I said earlier, keep doing what you're doing AmyB. Keep picking those flowers! You're doing a great job.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Crazy Crash Diets

That's what I'm thinking about this morning. Crazy crash diets. So I wonder, which came first for me, the ED (specifically binge eating) or the years of crazy crash diets? Was I born with a predisposition to binging? Or is it a behavior I have developed as a result of abusing my body with diets for all of my adult life? I have a feeling that it's a bit of both.

Personally, I am done with Crazy Crash Diets! No more! I am going to learn to eat a healthy diet. I am going to learn to stop worshipping food and then trying avoid the effects of that worship by doing extreme diets. For me, at this point in my journey, the "Let's Do Lunch" plan is helping me with that. I am learning to eat from all the food groups while still avoiding flour and sugar. For others it is doing a healthy low carb plan, or a healthy calorie controlled plan. The point is, whatever plan a person chooses, it needs to be healthy.

I am somewhat troubled this morning. I belong to several weight loss forums and on each one I see those who are doing reasonable, healthy, life style changing plans. But then there are the others, people like me who tend to gravitate toward the exteme. I see those who are eating only meat and eggs, only meat and water, only egg whites....well, you get the idea. On each weight loss forum I see crazy crash diets being promoted. ...and followed. I see people who have made a name for themselves in the low carb community trying these extreme measures. It makes me sad. When someone has made a name for themself in the weight loss community people look up to that person. People try things they wouldn't normally try because "so and so" is doing it. That's how I discovered Kimkins. Because someone with a name in the low carb community was doing it so it must be ok.

I don't know what the answer is to all of this. I just know that for me...I've had enough of Crazy Crash dieting!