So...where was I again?...
I was banned from the Kimkins site for the things I said. I didn't have the forsight to save my last post. I don't know why I didn't think to save it. But anyway, one of the things I said in my last post was that if kimmer had admitted to regaining her weight, I would have understood and been supportive of her. I meant that too. I think anyone who has battled a weight problem would understand how easy it can be to pick up the old eating habits again and regain the weight. When Jimmy Moore joined KK he openly stated that he had gained some weight. Nobody browbeat him for it....we've all been there. I honestly think that many of us would have supported Kimmer as well. But she chose to lie about it. She chose to lie about alot of things.
That brings me to the part of my story that I am still struggling with. I am angry with Kimmer/Heidi/whatevertheheckhernameistoday. I am hurt by her actions. I don't like being taken advantage of. I want to get even. I want to lash out. I want my money back. I want her to suffer the consequenses of her actions. After all, she deserves it, right?
The problem I am having with all of those emotions and feelings, the struggle in my heart is this.....I claim to walk with Jesus. The folowing are some scriptures that came to me the other morning as I was walking to work, thinking about all of this. I had given my contact information to someone who was organizing a class action lawsuit against Kimmer, and I was thinking about what I would say to the attorney when these verses began playing throught my heart and my head.....
(Allscripture references from "The Message")
1 John 2:4 -6 If someone claims, "I know him well!" but doesn't keep his commandments, he's obviously a liar. His life doesn't match his words. But the one who keeps God's word is the person in whom we see God's mature love. This is the only way to be sure we're in God. Anyone who claims to be intimate with God ought to live the same kind of life Jesus lived.
"In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part.
"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously. "You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best - the sun to warm and the rain to nourish - to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that. "In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.
And when you assume the posture of prayer, remember that it's not all asking. If you have anything against someone, forgive - only then will your heavenly Father be inclined to also wipe your slate clean of sins."
These are the thoughts that are on my mind lately as I think of my experience with Kimkins. I must choose to use this as an opportunity to live as Jesus lived. I must choose to forgive Kimmer, as Jesus forgave me. I must choose to take these feelings I have about being taken advantage of and lied to and lay them at the foot of the cross of Jesus....and choose forgiveness. So that is what I am going to be endeavoring to do. I am praying for Kimmer, as difficult as that is for me to do right now. I am praying that God's will is going to be done in her life, that He would draw her close to Him, that she would come to truly know Him and His love for her. I am choosing today to walk in the light of God's love, grace and mercy. Somewhere in scripture is the saying, "to whom much is given, much is required." I have been forgiven much in my lifetime.
All of this is most definitely not what I thought I would be saying when I started this blog!