This morning I'm thinking about my size 14 jeans. Yesterday as I was getting ready for work and pulling my size 14 jeans on, I realized that once again I was feeling sad. I was feeling sad because those size 14 jeans were a reminder for me that just a few months ago I was pulling on size 12 jeans, and they were getting loose. It was such a victorious feeling for me to be in size 12 jeans.
Never mind that people warned me that losing weight on Kimkins was unhealthy and wasn't going to be a loss I would be able to sustain. I was shrinking and that's all that mattered to me. But then, I started noticing when I looked in the mirror, that I was looking so old. And I was looking old all of the sudden? Could it be my diet? Then I began to notice that my skin was just sort of sagging. Could that be my diet as well? There were nagging doubts. Looking back, I have to admit that part of why I stayed on Kimkins was because I didn't want to admit I was wrong. I didn't want to admit that I was one of "those people" who fell for a scam. But I was, and that's another reason I was feeling sad about my size 14 jeans. They symbolized the roller coaster ride of stupid crash dieting, being scammed, feeling like a fool, realizing my disordered thoughts about eating, and regaining my weight. Those jeans were reminding me of alot of things and I was feeling sort of sad about it all.
But then, I remembered the day I was able to squeeze into size 14 jeans after years of being in size 18 and 20 jeans. I remembered the joy of pulling those size 14 jeans over my shrinking hips! And it dawned on me. I haven't failed in my quest for a slimmer, happier life! I am still slimmer than I was 2 years ago. My health is improving every day since I stopped doing Kimkins. Yes, I fell for the scam. But Heidi Diaz didn't win. She doesn't have the last say in all of this. My journey for a slimmer healthier life will continue and if justice is served, her life will continue in jail.
So this morning as I pull on my size 14 jeans to go to work, I will be grateful. I will be thankful for lessons learned, and I will feel joy as I pull those jeans up over my hips!
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The Thoughts and Ramblings of VernsWifeVickie
About Me
- Vickie
- Santee, California, United States
- I'm a Southern California native. Wife to Vern, Mom to Chris, Courtney, and Colin. Grandma Honey to Autumn and Crystal Lynn. This blog is my place to collect my thoughts, reflect on life, share my opinions, and journal my quest to live a healthy lifestyle.
3 comments:
No Heidi didn't win. And, by beating a professional con artist like her, you should feel proud. Use that pride to motivate yourself. You have come a long way in the last couple of years and you deserve to be in a place that will make you content and happy - whatever size that is. Good luck!
Hi Vickie,
You are the winner here, and I'm seeing this time and time again. Those who survived Kimkins found new ways of eating that are healthy and promote weight loss in a slower - thus easier to main - way. One thing I've noticed about all you ex-KKers is that you come out stronger, smarter, and tend to contribute to the health of others by your blogs. I wish I could be a blogger, but I just wouldn't be able to find the time, what with reading the WTFWK threads on LCF, pulling weeds, etc., and reading everyone ELSE's blogs - whew! Keep up the good work and I am bookmarking your blog.
Mayberryfan..Thanks so much for the kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment on my blog.
Barbara B..wow! I'm humbled by your thoughtful comment. Thanks so much.
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