Thursday, May 8, 2008

I said I needed accountability, didn't I?....

So, I said one of the things I liked about blogging is that it provides a certain accountability. With that in mind I need to admit that I binged last night. I didn't eat everything in the kitchen as I sometimes do, but I did eat four slices of pizza. I most definitely didn't need four slices of pizza. I was almost satisfied with one piece, which is really when I should have stopped. I could even justify two pieces...but I ate four.

I'm sure there are many issues involved with binging that I am not even fully aware of yet but one thing I know for sure triggered this one is that I wasn't prepared at work yesterday. I found myself hungry in the afternoon at work with nothing to snack on. By the time I got home I was really hungry. So rather than fixing a healthy dinner I gave in to the easy appeal of just ordering a pizza. Once the pizza arrived...well, we know what happened. I am refusing to let that binge define how I feel about myself. The binging has nothing to do with my worth as a person. I'm still a child of God and very much loved by Him. In fact, I am the apple of His eye, whether I binge or not. I am still a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister and grandmother, whether I binge or not. I am still a faithful and loyal friend, whether I binge or not. I am a trustworthy and loyal employee, whether I binge or not.

My worth a a person will no longer be dictated to my heart by my eating habits, my dress size, the number on a scale or anything else having to do with my food issues.

The binge was yesterday. Today is a new day and I will move forward in my journey. Today I will choose to rejoice in all that the Lord has done and is doing in me and for me and I will trust that He is going to lead me to success in this area of my life!

This is the day the LORD has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it.

O LORD, save us;
O LORD, grant us success.

Psalm 118:24-25


Anonymous said...

Oh LORD, and it is all Heidi's fault.

Rather than look into my own eating issues and disorders, I must cast blame & stones at others, even members whom disagree with me or any of my cronies.

I preach & pray one thing, whilst doing another, but that's O.K. I can thump my bible & be forgiven which gives me an excuse to justify my actions & my mouth!


Vickie said...

Anonymous..I debated whether or not to post your comment as it has absolutely nothing to do with anything I have said in my recent posts. I decided to publish it in anyway so that I could respond to it.

First of all, if you have read any of my recent blog posts then you can see that looking at my own eating issues and disorders is exactly what I am doing. I have never blamed Heidi Diaz for the fact that I have a disordered relationship with food. My disordered relationship with food and dieting is no one else's fault but my own. I do, however, feel that the fact that I have a disordered relationship with food and dieting made me more likely to fall for her scam. And make no mistake about it, Kimkins is a scam.

I have not cast stones at anyone. I have respectfully voiced my point of view here and at LCF which is what I think you are referring to. Your comment on the other hand, is sarcastic,accusatory and intentionally nasty. So you might want to reconsider who is throwing stones here.

Your last comment, the standard jab at my faith when one has nothing intelligent to add to the debate, does not even warrant a reply from me.

If nothing else, I'm glad that my blog could give you a chuckle today. Good luck and God bless...