Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Dieting is not the answer...

One of the things that I really like about blogging this journey is that I get feedback and input from others who are or have also struggled with these same issues. One person who commented yesterday was Bamagal. Her comment contained the following:

Another reason for binge on my part was after I had restricted food or come
off some idiotic diet. Then the binge was my body crying out for nutrients I had
been depriving it of.

Thanks so much for your input, Bama. I have certainly found this to be true in my own life as well. After doing the Kimkins diet for just a short time last summer my binging has been far worse than it has been in a very long time. That realization over the past few months has brought me to the conclusion that dieting is a big part of the problem for me.

Up until recently I had always thought of my Binge/Diet cycle this way; I thought of the binge part of the cycle as being the unhealthy, dysfunctional behavior and the diet part of the cycle as being the healthier, more controlled behavior. It has finally dawned on me that BOTH parts of this destructive cycle are unhealthy and displeasing to my Lord. This is just a huge thing for me to realize!

Dieting is not part of the answer....it's part of the problem. I cannot look at this crazy, self-destructive cycle and think that any part of the cycle is good and healthy and right. The ENTIRE cycle is destructive.

Again, that brings me back to the following scripture. This scripture has been quietly speaking to me, gently nudging me away from this destructive cycle for a long time now. It's finally beginning to really make sense to me. It's a passage that I will probably quote here often because it is speaking so directly to my heart right now..

Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why,
as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: "Do not
handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? These are all destined to perish
with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. Such
regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed
worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they
lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.

Colossians 2:20-23

Once again my heart is filled with the certainty the the world does not hold the answer to healing my broken relationship with food and I am encouraged that one day soon I will walk free of this struggle. I am certain that through he power of the Holy Spirit I will be made whole and healthy.

So...an update from yesterday. I weighed myself at Curves. My weight is up to 199.8. As much as it hurt to realize that my weight is that high again, I had to smile when I saw the number. I had silently prayed, "Please Lord, just let me be under 200 pounds"

Foodwise, yesterday was a better day than I have had lately. I did not binge. In terms of what's been going on with my eating recently....not binging is definitely progress!

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