Friday, May 30, 2008

Living Low Carb Again...

Once again it's been a while since I've posted here. In the weeks since I posted last I have come to the decision to return to the low carb lifestyle. I have struggled over the past 8 or 9 months with binge eating, with never wanting to be on a diet again and with exactly how one lives a life in harmony with food without being on a diet. The fact that I never want to be on a diet again has not changed. I am DONE with dieting. I have dieted or binged for my entire life....well since I was 11 or 12 years old anyway....and I am done with that.

The struggle in my mind has been the idea that low carb living is a diet. That idea has kept me spinning out of control for the past few months. One morning a couple of weeks ago, I was sitting here at this computer and I just simply thought to myself, "Today is the day." I was drinking a cup of coffee with heavy cream in it. I realized that I could just start now, this minute, choosing low carb foods again. Suddenly I realized that the only thing that could turn my low carb lifestyle into a diet was my mentality. It doesn't have to be a diet. It can be a lifestyle. Those words look so simple as I type them here, but that morning it was a profound realization for me. At that moment something clicked in my thinking and I began my low carb lifestyle once again.

I can't remember exactly what day I started. I don't remember the date but I remember the moment. That day I went to the store and I stocked my kitchen with healthy low carb foods again. Since that day I have eaten in a healthy, controlled manner. I have not binged...not one time. I weighed and measured myself simply to get a baseline but I won't be weighing and measuring on a regular basis. My weight and my measurements are not going to be deciding factor on whether or not I am "successful." I am not on a diet, my goal is not to lose weight or to be a certain size. My goal is to live in harmony with food. I feel like I am making progress with that.

so...I am living a low carb lifestyle again. Every day, sometimes many times in a day, I have to remind myself that I am not on a diet. It would be pretty easy for me to slip back into my old habits and turn this into a diet. I could obsess over every carb, every calorie, every fat gram. I could log every tidbit that I eat into "Fitday." The temptation is there to do just that. But I am not on a diet. I am not on a weightloss program. I am simply living a low carb lifestyle.

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