Back in the Saddle Again

Wednesday May 29, 2013

One thing I have always struggled with is getting right back on plan after a slip up. It's do easy to just throw away the whole week with wrong thinking. Thoughts like "I'll start fresh after my meeting" run through my head. So, I'm really happy that I was able to jump right back on plan and put the bad day behind me. 

Now to get back into the swing of exercising in the morning! 

As the day of the Rock & Roll Half Marathon draws closer, I find myself feeling sad that I'm going to be sitting this one out. But the reality is that my toe is just not ready for 13.1 miles. 

I've decided that since I'm no longer training for a half marathon, this is a good opportunity for me to start to train myself to actually run an entire 5K. Up to now I have "only" done intervals.  I'm ready to tackle running longer distances, starting with a 5K. So my plan is to ease back into running, as my toe continues to heal, by doing a Couch to 5K plan. 

That's it...that's all I've got today. Let's do this!!

I need a strategy..

Strategy: a plan, method, or series of maneuvers or stratagems for obtaining a specific goal or result: a strategy for getting ahead in the world.

First of all let's just get it out there ....because every fiber of my being wants to keep this a secret...to not put it in my tracker and not tell anyone what I did. .... I blew my streak last night. I came home late after a long day and I started eating and didn't stop until I had mindlessly consumed an extra 36 PointsPlus. Yes, I have the weekly points allowance to cover what I ate, so technically I am still "on plan." But that's not really the point this morning. The point is the BEHAVIOR. This behavior of losing my mind, throwing caution to the wind, and just eating until I feel sick is not healthy. It needs to change. I need a strategy. 

I wish I could let some of you inside my head, in the car on the drive home. There is such a battle going on in there as I drive the twenty minute route home from my meeting on Tuesday nights. I drive along fighting the urge to stop and get certain foods. Usually it starts with wanting to drive to Mary's Donuts and get an apple fritter the size of a dinner plate. I convince myself not to stop at Mary's and my thoughts shift to stopping at Sprouts for a bag of macadamia nuts, then to In-N-Out for a burger, to Carl's Jr for a turkey burger (that's healthier you know), Taco Bell for a $5.00 box of enough food to feed a small family....and on it goes. 

When I finally arrive home I start out with a healthy choice....after all, I have 5 PointsPlus left in my daily allowance. And then I just don't stop...sigh. 

So, this morning I am sitting here, feeling half sick toy stomach, ashamed that once again I gave in to the urge to binge eat...and realizing that this is a battle and I need a strategy, a battle plan to fight these ridiculous urges. 

So here goes....I am going to write this plan down on a card and review it when I get in the car to go home on Tuesday nights....

1. Pray. Obviously I need help! 

2. Take control of my thought life. 

I know this passage is a little out of context, but the last part of it tells me that I am not helpless in controlling my thoughts. I have the ability to take my thoughts captive. 

(2 Corinthians 10:5

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.)

3. No eating when I get home. I can not take that first bite!! Like an alcoholic who takes that first drink, I don't seem to be able to stop once I start. A cup of tea, a large glass of fruit infused water over ice...but no food. This habit needs to be confronted and BROKEN!!!

4. Go to bed!! Being tired affects my ability to make sound choices...so go to bed!

That's it. It's simple but I have to start somewhere. 

Day Four of Recommit....Done

Monday May 27, 2013

This was a good day. I got up in the morning and went for a walk.  I still can't run. Walking is uncomfortable but running is downright painful! As I walked I realized that it's not just the running and the endorphins that are released that make me love it. A lot of it is just simply being alone, the rhythmic movement, the air and sun on my face, ....the "me" time. So anyway I walked a little over 5 miles. 

When I got back from walking I had a breakfast of chia pudding, strawberries, and banana. And coffee....always coffee wit two measured tablespoons of half and half. 

In the afternoon Vern and I rode the trolley downtown and walked to Seaport Village. We walked along the waterfront, watching families picnicking, kids flying kites, and street vendors peddling paper flowers, palm reading, rock stacking, and storytelling. 

In being completely honest, I have to admit that when it came time to choose a place to get food I was sorely tempted to go for the deep dish Chicago pizza place that is one of our favorites. The old line of "it's just one day" and "it's a holiday" and "I can always get back on track tomorrow" we're running through my head as we walked. 

But in the end we settled for the Greek place and I had a roasted Greek chicken plate. It was a half of a Greek chicken on a bed of romaine lettuce, served with pita bread. It was lunch and dinner combined and I calculated the points...and ate every bite. I figured the meal at 28 PointsPlus. Much better than the pizza that is probably 20 PointsPlus per slice and I would have eaten 3 slices. I'm calling it a success. 

Over the course of the rest of the afternoon and evening I had a banana, an orange, and some cherries. 

My FitBit tells me I walked almost 9 miles and my ActiveLink says I earned 9 activity points. My toe says maybe I overdid it a little :)

Day 4...on plan...Done!!  

I'm on a roll ....

Today was a lazy, low key, stay at home and recover from Disneyland kind of day. 

We slept late, got coffee from the Starbucks across the street, and did a whole lot of nothing. It was fabulous!

These days can be a challenge as there's something about being self indulgent that tends to tempt me to push the limits. You know, you're laying around watching TV and napping ....why not add some mindless eating to the mix?

Today was good though. I stayed at exactly 26 PointsPlus for the day. I made healthy choices, including the decision to cook dinner rather than getting some kind of take out. I even opted for grilled chicken breast after calculating the PointsPlus value of the angus burger patties that I cooked for Vern. I am on a roll! 

I toyed with the idea of getting some exercise in today but that never happened. 

Day 3 on plan...DONE!!

I did it!!

Bam!! Disneyland from morning to late night ON PLAN!! Am I awesome or what!?!?

Seriously, Disneyland is a huge challenge for me. There are so many treats that call my name. Couple that with the fact that Vern (or whoever might be in our party) loves his (their) Disneyland treats, so it's not like I can just stay away from the treats. I get to watch everyone eat their treats...lol. 

This time I really was determined to have a successful day. So I packed a cooler with some fruit and a container of chia pudding. Chia pudding is simply a cup of almond milk with 3 tablespoons of chia seeds, and a dash of stevia added. The chia seeds thicken it into a pudding consistency. It looks a little ugly but it is so good for 5 PointsPlus! 

We arrived at the parks and the guys, Vern and my son, Courtney, were hungry. We chose Carnation Cafe as our breakfast spot. They were running a special holiday breakfast of steak and eggs. For a moment I was really tempted. But it would have used all my points for that one meal! So I stayed strong!! I had my chia pudding in my bag. So I ordered a side of fresh fruit and a cup of coffee. I had added banana slices and strawberries to my pudding and the few slices of melon and pineapple that I ordered made it a filling breakfast. 

We met up with my older son, Chris, and his girlfriend, Crystal, later in the morning. 

 We had a late lunch in Disney's California Adventure. The guys had pasta and I opted for the Mediterranean  Grill. A chicken breast skewer served with rice, cucumber salad, pita bread and Tzatziki sauce. One of my ongoing frustrations with Disney is that they refuse to provide nutritional information for the food there. So it's always a matter of guesstimating. I usually find similar items and calculate that way. I figured my lunch at 12 PointsPlus. 

In the evening we left the parks to have dinner at "The Habit" burger grill. They had the most amazing looking burgers!!! But I stayed strong and ordered a grilled chicken salad with dressing in the side and no croutons it was perfect. It was about 3-4 ounces of chicken breast on a bed of greens, with tomatoes, carrots, and cucumber slices. It was drizzled with teriyaki sauce so dressing was not even needed. I had a baggie of cherries in my bag and I munched on them along with my salad. I counted my salad at 4 PointsPlus. 

Later in the evening I had a cup of coffee with cream and a banana. 

When we arrived home I had a slice if bread with half of a small avocado on it. 

I ended the day at 31 PointsPlus. I walked over 18,000 steps. Actually, I hobbled for many of those steps! But I think the walking may have helped my toe! It really hurt a lot during the first part of the day. I sat and rested it for a while and took it slow. At one point my foot started tingling and sort of itching and burning deep inside. I sat down and elevated it when I could. Eventually the pain started to subside. This morning it's significantly better. It's still sore but definitely on the mend!

I earned 6 activity points hobbling around the parks :)

I feel really good and really motivated to stay on track by the way I successfully navigated my day at Disneyland. 

Let's do this thing!! 

Forgetting what lies behind...

So how tired are you of reading my "Today is a fresh start" posts? I'm right there with you!! I'm thinking, "Oh yeah, sure. I've heard this before." 

But really, what other choice is there? To give up, throw in the towel and accept defeat? That is not an option. So once again I type the words....new day, new week, new tracker, new beginning, new attitude....I am starting fresh today. I have a new tracker and new determination. Plus, my jeans are snug...lol...that is a huge motivator! 

So off I go to my Weight Watcher meeting...to face the scale, to be encouraged, to find fresh motivation. 

My verse for this week is this:

Philippians 3:13 Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead...

Let's do this thing!!

Thursday...

Good morning, happy Thursday!! I can't believe it's Thursday already! 

Yesterday was a pretty good day of food choices. I didn't really get back into the swing of tracking....I have a tendency to be rather anal about numbers, and it's really hard for me to pick up in the middle of the week with tracking. But, I did have a portion controlled, no junk food, kind of day. 

I had one of "Julie's Giant Oatmeal Cookies" for breakfast.  ( a recipe from one of our WW leaders) I was super busy at lunchtime so I grabbed a few ounces of chicken breast meat, a handful of cherry tomatoes, and a banana for lunch. Dinner was a bowl full of bowtie pasta with butter, garlic, and cheese. Probably a little point heavy but it hit the spot. I had some Greek yogurt and a banana after dinner. 

It's a little weird not running in the morning! My foot is improving fairly rapidly! The bruising on the top of my foot is fading. The bottom of my toe is still purple and my toe is still very tender to the touch. But it's not as intensely painful and achy as it was. I can almost walk normally but it's tender to do so. My toe is tingly and sort of "pins and needles" feeling. I think I'll live...lol. 

Tomorrow is my Weight Watchers meeting. I know I've said this so many times over the past few months...but I am going to do my very best to make this the week when I get completely back on board with my Weight Watchers journey. 

No Rock & Roll for me :(

Good morning! Happy Wednesday!! We are back from our long weekend at Disneyland and ready to get back to a routine. I had really good intentions of tracking my food while we were there but that fell by the wayside when we got there. We were very busy for the entire time we were there and food was not as much of a focus as one might think. 

On Monday morning, as we were packing up our room, I tripped over a canvas duffle bag and caught my small toe on my right foot on the corner of the bag. I felt it pop out of joint and I quickly grabbed it and pulled it until it popped back in place. I really thought it was broken because it was do painful!! We had one more day in Disneyland and we were meeting up with one of our kids. So I toughed it out....I sat with it elevated for a good portion of the day. 

Tuesday morning it was still quite painful, swollen,  and bruised so I decided to have it checked out. The good news is that there is no fractures. However, he said no running at all for at least a week and them I can test it out to see if I might be able to start running again at about 10% of what I would normally do. So no Rock & Roll Half Marathon for me this year. 

So, it should be interesting to get back to tracking and counting points without the benefit of exercise points. 

Starting today....counting, planning, routine...1...2...3...go!

Feeling empowered

Good morning!! Happy Tuesday! I'm ready to do this! I'm feeling empowered by the fact that I stayed within my points allowance yesterday. I'm ready to do it again today. It's time to get back to photo journaling my food, and keeping my blog updated. 

I'm enjoying a cup of coffee and then I'm off for a run before work :)

Regroup Monday

Monday morning update:

I had a great weekend hanging out with friends and family.  

I didn't have such a great weekend of making good food choices. One thing I did do was track everything I ate. I don't often track on the days when I throw caution to the wind and just eat whatever I feel like. But this time I tracked it...and I, quite frankly, am stunned at how quickly those points add up when I don't make good choices. This weekend's tracker has been eye opening to say the least. 

So now it's Monday morning and I am at negative 7 points for the week. I have used up all of my weekly 49 extra points, all 14 of the exercise points I earned, and 7 points I didn't have. 

I am determined to save what is left of this week. I don't have to let the weekend stretch into an entire week of eating off plan. I left my meeting on Friday, saying that I was going to follow the plan like I did when I first joined....like a newbie...that didn't quite happen over the weekend. HOWEVER, for the next four days that is exactly what I am going to do. 

I am going to track my food and activity. I am going to update here. (as embarrassing as that can be sometimes)

One thing I know....I am not going to quit. No matter how many times I stumble in this journey, I am going to keep trying, keep pulling myself back to center, keep learning from my actions, and keep moving forward. 

Lastly, these past few weeks have taught me some things about exercise, running in particular. The biggest thing I've learned is that I NEED A REST DAY between run days. My muscles need that time to recover. I am the most sore I have ever been from running and it's not easing up. So I am going to go back to running on Tuesday and Thursday mornings with a long run on the weekends. I might walk on the off days. I haven't decided yet. But I'm done running every day. 

So there we go. 

Happy Monday!!! Let's do this thing!!

Return to Victory...Week One

At my WW meeting. Up .6 this week. This week I am going to pretend it's my first week and I am going to follow the plan to the letter like I did when I was a newbie. AND I am going to go go back to updating here daily.

Back to the Basics...

Good morning!! So, today is the day. No more "I'll really start back to tracking tomorrow, or next week, or after this weekend." I can feel myself going in the wrong direction. The cold hard fact is that I am 10 pounds up from my lowest weight. It's time to get back to the basics. It's not enough to go sit in the magic green chair (the chairs in my WW meeting) each week. I actually need to buckle down and DO THE PLAN!!! So here we go, here is my commitment:
Starting today, May 7, 2013, I will track my food and not exceed the points a ail able to me. I will earn 4 activity points per day. I will drink eight glasses of water each day. I will focus on real foods and avoid highly processed "food-like products." Back to basics for me.

Finding my Strong

Good morning! Something happened yesterday while I was out for my run, and as I processed through my feelings about it, I realized I had to share it with you all. Because, after all, there is more to becoming healthy and whole than just diet and exercise.

I was running a route that was different for me and it was just about mile four. I was doing my normal intervals of one minute jogging, one minute walking. As the interval changed and I slowed from a jog to a walk, a car that was coming from behind me slowed down and several young men/older teens yelled something rude and derogatory. It's not really important what they said. What's important is what it ALMOST triggered in me.

I don't know if I've ever shared this here. I know I've shared it with my Weight Watcher meeting. When I first began to think about running, it took me about a year to actually start. I downloaded a "Couch to 5K" app on my phone about a year before I took that first tentative jog. The thing that kept me from starting was fear. Fear that was rooted in my past experiences. I was afraid, almost convinced, that I couldn't do it.

I had a mental image of an obese little girl, forced to run around a track in elementary school, while the other children who were more fit and less awkward, jeered and poked fun. Sure, there was a teacher trying to cheer me on...but hers was not the voice that stayed with me for the next 40+ years.

So fast forward to yesterday. Those jeering voices of foolish young men reached my ears and for a moment I was jerked back to that painful place. That place of not feeling good enough, or fit enough, or slim enough, or pretty enough....for a moment I went there.

But then something happened. Suddenly a voice from my heart cried out, "No!! You are not that girl anymore!! And it's not because she ceased to exist. It's because she found her STRONG!!!

I don't know if I can adequately put it into words. But, part of becoming healthy is finding your strong. Running has helped me to do that. It has changed my life. I will never again be that frightened, hurting kid who was afraid to run because she might not be able to do it, or because she was afraid of what others might think or say.

I am a 55 year old wife, mom, & grandma who can go out on a Saturday morning and decide that I'm going to interval run ten miles.....so I did. I ran from the voices in my head that tell me I can't do it. I ran until the echo of those boys' words could no longer be heard rolling around in my head. I found my strong :)