Tuesday, February 10, 2009

25 things I should have said to my Mom before now....

...so, I said that the whole "25 Things" fiasco had made me realize that my own Mom would probably like to hear 25 things too. My Mom and I had a tumultuous relationship for many years. As I have grown older I have realized that the reasons for our relationship being so rocky were mostly me being headstrong and stubborn. Over the past few years we have grown closer and more at peace with each other than we have ever been before so this was the perfect time for me to make this list. It was very healing and humbling for me to compose it. These are things I should have been grateful to my Mom for a long time ago...

25 Things I Should Have Said To My Mom Before Now...

Mom, as I am getting older, I realize more and more, with each passing day, just how much you mean to me, how much I cherish you, and how blessed I am that God chose you to be my Mom. As I have been thinking lately about the things I wish my sons would have said I realized that there are probably at least 25 things I could say to you that would tell you how much I love you. So here they are...

1)When I was a little girl I thought you were the most beautiful woman in the world. I still think you're beautiful.

2)I remember the way you used to sing to us kids in the car, and I sang those same songs to my boys when they were little. I miss hearing you sing sometimes

3)I remember coming home from school and you were ALWAYS there.

4)I am grateful that you continue to ALWAYS be there for me, no matter how difficult I have been to deal with, you are always there to love accept me and be my mom.

5)You taught me the value of honesty, integrity, and doing what you know in your heart to be right.

6)You taught me the importance of getting up every day, taking a bath, combing my hair, getting dressed and putting one foot in front of the other and facing the day....no matter what. That ability has carried me through some difficult times.

7)Mom, I don't think I have ever really said “Thank You.” Thank you for being the glue that has held our family together over the years.

8)Thank you for being there for my sons when I was too lost to be there for them.

9)Thank you for being both a grandmother and a mother to Chris. When I see the man he has become, and I am so proud of him, I know I have you to thank for loving and teaching and raising him into the man he is today.

10) Thank you for being a good and faithful wife to my father. As I grow older I realize more and more what a wonderful blessing that has been, and continues to be, in my life.

11) Thank you for always being there when I need to talk. I always feel better after we've talked it out...whatever it might be.

12) Thank you for never giving up on any of us. No matter what we've gone through, you have always been there, believing in us, praying for us, and knowing we would find our way back to the right path.

13) Thank you for opening your home to us when I was rebuilding my life, so that I could bring my boys home and put my family back together. I could never have done it without your help and support.

14) I don't know if you know this, but having coffee with you is so much more than a cup of coffee! The few minutes we spend over a cup of coffee renews my strength, refreshes my hope, and let's me know, once again, that everything is going to be ok.

15) There was a time, a couple of years ago. It was at the end of one of those long days in the emergency room with Dad. He had been released and we were heading out to the car. I was walking behind you and you reached out and took his hand to lead him to the car. Here you were, this tiny little woman, leading dad, this man who towers over you, to the car. In that moment you showed me the reality of what marriage and commitment are all about. It's one of the moments I cherish in my heart and you never even knew that I saw it.

16) I want you to know that I absolutely love being Grandmothers together! One of the greatest joys in my life is spending time together with you and Autumn.

17) Ok, this one might seem silly to you, but I love the way you smell! The scent of Vanderbilt cologne and the faint odor of cigarettes is one of the most comforting smells to me. I notice it when I hug you or when you give me clothes that you have worn. I notice that smell and it's just a feeling of...that's my mom!

18) I want you to know that I admire your generosity more than I can say. You are always there to give to any of us who are in need at the time.

19) You taught me that sometimes when you feel bad, or sad, or overwhelmed, the best course of action is just to go and take a bath! To this day, when I am sick, I sometimes take several baths a day...just to feel better.

20) I love that your home continues to be a gathering place for the family. It was that way when I was a child and it continues to be the hub where we all get together and share family times.

21) I admire your strength and courage that seem to come from simply loving your family and refusing to give up in the midst of whatever life brings.

22) I remember when I was a kid how you would take on anyone or anything to defend me. Remember the time you told Mr Todd, the principle, that you would “whip him all over the school” if he touched me? I remember, and I think you would still take on anyone or anything in defense of your kids or grandkids!

23) I love and admire your no-nonsense attitude. You say what you mean and you mean what you say.

24) I love that there is no pretense in you. You are who you are, and what you see is what you get with you. People tell me that I am that way and I think I inherited it from you.

25) Lastly, Mom, I am so glad that you're my Mom, my friend and my mentor. I have learned so much from you about life and love and family. I am a slow learner in some things and it has taken me far too long to realize just how special you are...but I get it now...with all my heart, I understand now just what a wonderful gift God gave me when He gave me you as my mother.

I love you Mom, and I thank God for you,

On Saturday, February 7, 2009. I printed this list out. I used large, bold type so that she would be able to read it. I put in in an envelope and laid it on her pillow for her to find. Her response was overwhelming in how much it touched her heart. I am so glad I did it.


Deborah said...

Miss Vickie,
This was so sweet. Im glad I got to read your love note to your mom. Of course it made me cry missing my own mom but Im so glad God has blessed you with a long loving relationship with yours.
Love Ya Lots

Vickie said...

You don't know this but you are partly responsible for me realizing how fortunate I am to still have my mom with me. Knowing how much you miss your mom has helped open my eyes. Thank you my friend

Deborah said...

Dear Vickie,
Isnt it amazing how we all bless each other in one way or another? Coicidentally when my crawlspace flooded a few months back I came across a very similar letter to my mom I had given her. It was the ruff draft. I totally forgot writing it but I was sure glad that seeing it triggered my memory of it. I dont even remember my mom commenting on it but I do know that she must have liked it. I will fish it out and put it on the computer one day and send you it. It was very theraputic to read it and I was amazed at how many wonderful memories it brought back for me. Finding was sorta like a message from my mom. It could have stayed lost in the crawlspace forever if it hadnt been for that dang sump pump going out lol. I cracked up at you telling your mom how her perfume and the smell of cigarettes is a fond memory. That smell was one of the reasons I stayed away.....I loved my mom but I hated the smell of smoke at her house. We are still trying to figure out what to do with all the Red Door she left behind. lol
Youre Welcome!!!!
Love Ya Lots