Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wednesday October 24, 2012

October 24, 2012

This week has been extremely busy! I had every intention of posting yesterday but the day got away from me. So today is a catch up post.

Monday October 22, 2012
You can see, by the number of frozen entrees in my menu, that it's the beginning of a busy chaotic week....

Smart Ones Breakfast Sandwich
Sliced apple
Coffee with SF creamer
7 PointsPlus

Veggie burger on a
Sandwich Thin with
FF cheese
Sliced apple
7 PointsPlus

Smart Ones Frozen Entree
While that was cooking I had a
Serving of veggie straws and
2 ounces of cheese
11 PointsPlus

0 PointsPlus

Total 31 Target 26
Weekly Used 5, remaining 38
ActiveLink earned 2
Remaining 7

Tuesday October 23, 2012

Ugh!!! This day is what it is...or was, as it's now early Wednesday morning and I'm reflecting on it.

I think it's pretty safe to say that I have some pretty deeply ingrained emotional eating patterns that I am working on changing. There are some things in my life that aren't as I would like them to be. There are stresses as a business owner that still blow me away sometimes....and there is just the junk and stress of everyday life that constantly comes at us. I have made huge strides in overcoming my tendency for turning to food when I am frustrated, overwhelmed, tired, angry.....choose any or all of the above emotions....but there are days when I crumble under the pressure.

Yesterday was one of those days. It was a long day, starting at 4:30am so I could squeeze in time for a run and ending at around 10:30pm when I got home from my bible study group.

It happened when I got home. I fixed my granddaughter's turkey sandwich to pack in her lunch for today and when I cut it with a cookie cutter, rather than tossing the crusty part, I ate it. That tasted good so I grabbed a few slices of turkey and wrapped them around cheese and ate those. That led to a bowl of veggie straws that I mindlessly munched on as I read a chapter of a book. Then I wanted something sweet so I made a half of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and ate that. Then I went to bed....

Now it's the next morning. My stomach is not very happy with me. I can't even begin to describe how much I don't want to post any of this because binge eating is my little "secret." The binge food is not photographed for the blog, because as I'm eating it I am telling myself that I'm not going to tell. I'm not going to blog about it or I'm even going to lie about it. I tell myself no one would really know if I just omitted it from the details of the blog post. But then it comes time to write the blog post and I've come to my senses and, of course, I can't lie about it or omit it like it didn't happen...what good could possibly come of that!?

And, of course, the food that promised to comfort and calm my stress had turned out to be a liar once again. It's almost comical when I think about it. I mean many times does a person have to wake up feeling sick, and disgusted, and ashamed???

Okay so there we go. I binged, I tracked it. I can't take it back. I can't end my journey of a healthier lifestyle because of it...I cant lie about it or pretend it didn't just is what it is. And, today is going to be better.

Oatmeal Breakfast Cookie
Coffee with SF creamer
5 PointsPlus

Pastrami sandwich on
Roman Meal bread with
FF cheese slice
Sliced apples
7 PointsPlus

Frozen Entree
With added cheese
11 PointsPlus

Listed above
37 PointsPlus

Total 60 Target 26
Weekly used 34, remaining 4
ActiveLink earned 6
Remaining 13

Interval ran 5.03 miles
13.04 min/mile pace



spunkysuzi said...

We do the best that we can!
I don't normally eat frozen dinners but I'm buying some this week because there are days when that's the best option!

700 pounds is as bad as it sounds said...

FANTASTIC POST! I love it when people are completely honest, I have felt that way so many times. Like I didn't want to write everything down that I ate because it would show all the people out there that are following me and encouraging me what a failure I am. Like they will feel like what they are telling me is not as important as a fattening food choice, and they are wasting their breath on me. But in actuality I think it's the opposite. All these people already know we have struggles and thats part of the reason we are blogging because we need support, and all these people have the same issues, they go off the program once in a while too. I would much rather hear someone talk that I can truly identify with then hear someone who is pretending to be something they really aren't.